So lately I've been a bit sad and confused. I'm so excited to be moving along with the adoption, we are seriously almost in the official waiting stages. The social worker in PA with AA is working on our home study review today and has hopes to have it sent to my agency in VA next week. How awesome is that! I'm so excited! I feel like i have to have the nursery ready in the event we get a no notice call and have to be in the states right away.
So where am I going with my feelings? I feel "left-out" and "it's not fair". I really want to have a baby shower, but it's impossible because of where I live, where my family lives, and the logistics of it all. I know if I were to have a biological child, I'd still not have a baby-shower from family, so it's not because we're adopting that I feel left out, it's just the position we are in right now. Always living SO far away from family. It's sad. I miss being around family for gatherings. I want to feel the love and excitement that I feel towards everyone displayed to me for once. It's not going to happen and I shouldn't expect it to. I don't mind buying everything ourselves, it's not that, I want their support and blessings. Will I ever get it? I wonder all the time! I want my kid to be spoiled by their grandparents and visit and play with their cousins often, but that won't happen and it's SAD! I loved how I grew up. Living so close to all my relatives, staying the night at their houses, playing with them all the time, it was fun...and my children are going to miss out on knowing their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and all other close family. Two people I really hope to bring my baby to see is my grandma and grandpa, I don't see them that often and to introduce my child to them would be something special to me.
Well I'm going to put my thoughts to sleep now, have a good night!
Bridget, I am sorry you are feeling like this. Call me crazy, but I was just having those same thoughts about missing our holiday family gatherings, playing with our cousins, spending the nights with them, heck practically living with them. I really wish you guys lived closer so our kids could have the same experiences we had and they, too, could look forward to all the crazy family gatherings.
ReplyDeleteA baby shower is not impossible to have for you. You made it possible for our family to be at a baby shower for me, even though they were 8 hrs away. I will get something figured out. We just have to work around the time you are going to be in the States next summer. I must say that yes, you have spoiled us by showering us & our kids with so much. I'm afraid we won't be able to spoil you guys as much, but I'm going to try my hardest. You know we love you & miss you so much. Webcam has definitely made it easier for me to deal with you being so far away. We love you!!!