Fun tonight with the hubby...tonight hubs and I took a walk in the snowy weather, it was no ordinary walk though. We found a park and I wanted to go "play". I never figured hubby would go for it, but I still stood there with my big blue eyes begging. He said let's go and off I went. It was awesome! We went down 2 different tube slides, one twirly and one straight. Oh man...that was fun! I don't think I've had this much fun in months. Just the pure fact that hubby actually did something like that WITH me was enough to make it enjoyable.
Our package we mailed out to AA in PA is officially LOST...yes you heard me right, LOST!!! What in the world...all our originals are in the package, what next? What am I supposed to do, recreate the originals? That will take another 2 months just for that! I'm a bit frustrated. I'm hoping the home study will still get sent to the agency in VA because she has her originals and that's all that really matters...i hope?
It's been nice this week spending the days with hubby. He has off all week, so we've been hanging out, not doing a whole lot, but enough to keep us moving. We finally made it to the gym last night, YAH!!! Didn't go tongiht, but went on an hour walk instead...plus the 5 minutes at the park :).
Going to watch a movie now then off to bed.
Tuesday, December 28
Sunday, December 26
New design and layout
First, I've decided to add some design to my blog and I think it looks awesome! It took me about 2 hours to create it. I also added page links so I didn't have to have everything on the main page, you can click on the link to the left to see the processes. I'm excited out the new layout. Do you like it?
Now onto the writing itself :)
Yesterday was a really rough day, I found myself not wanting to be talked to, touched, or even looked at! I went outside in the 20 degree weather to get some fresh air, for about 45 minutes. It was COLD! I later found myself with my iPod on listening to music to drawn out the noises of the day and sitting on the bathroom on the floor. It was a miserable day! I wish I could say that this will be my last Christmas without a child, but I can't be certain since I'm not in control. I can hope and pray, but I won't know what our plans are until the day comes. It can come the day after our home study is approved, the next month, 6 months, a year, or even longer, one just never knows. I wish adoption was like a pregnancy, when you start you have 9 months to prepare for your baby and then the baby arrives. If that were the case, we'd have our baby in March, which would be awesome.
Today has been a little better, I shoveled the ice and snow from our parking space, then went for a drive around the base, picked up mail and went to the grocery store. Hubby actually sat down and watched Santa Baby 2 with me, I thought the world was coming to an end that he actually watched it with me. I was happy that he did. He was probably trying to do anything to put me in a cheerful mood and hoping today was going to be nothing like yesterday.
I'm going to start painting my ceramics this week. I have a lot to do and they have a lot of detailed work on them that I will need extra time for concentration. Maybe keeping busy with that will help me remain calm and less stressed.
Waiting on word if the agency in PA received the packet I mailed out on the 20th. It should have arrived since it was expressed mailed, 3 day express. On the website, it's not showing arrived though, so I'm a bit worried. Hopefully they will also be able to get an official copy of our home study to our agency in VA this week. This week is a wonder of possibilities.
Now onto the writing itself :)
Yesterday was a really rough day, I found myself not wanting to be talked to, touched, or even looked at! I went outside in the 20 degree weather to get some fresh air, for about 45 minutes. It was COLD! I later found myself with my iPod on listening to music to drawn out the noises of the day and sitting on the bathroom on the floor. It was a miserable day! I wish I could say that this will be my last Christmas without a child, but I can't be certain since I'm not in control. I can hope and pray, but I won't know what our plans are until the day comes. It can come the day after our home study is approved, the next month, 6 months, a year, or even longer, one just never knows. I wish adoption was like a pregnancy, when you start you have 9 months to prepare for your baby and then the baby arrives. If that were the case, we'd have our baby in March, which would be awesome.
Today has been a little better, I shoveled the ice and snow from our parking space, then went for a drive around the base, picked up mail and went to the grocery store. Hubby actually sat down and watched Santa Baby 2 with me, I thought the world was coming to an end that he actually watched it with me. I was happy that he did. He was probably trying to do anything to put me in a cheerful mood and hoping today was going to be nothing like yesterday.
I'm going to start painting my ceramics this week. I have a lot to do and they have a lot of detailed work on them that I will need extra time for concentration. Maybe keeping busy with that will help me remain calm and less stressed.
Waiting on word if the agency in PA received the packet I mailed out on the 20th. It should have arrived since it was expressed mailed, 3 day express. On the website, it's not showing arrived though, so I'm a bit worried. Hopefully they will also be able to get an official copy of our home study to our agency in VA this week. This week is a wonder of possibilities.
Saturday, December 25
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas,
Happy Birthday Jesus,
may He Bless you today and always!
Today I woke up empty. I have longed for this morning where I'd wake up to my child running to my bed saying...mommy, daddy, Santa came. Santa came. I know Christmas is not about Santa, but Santa is something fun for the young kids. Jesus recieved 3 presents from the wisemen. I'm not sure how Santa came into the picture on Christmas morning, other than from the story book, The Night Before Christmas.
I'm praying that next year will be my year of joy and happiness. I pray my void will be filled. I pray our child will be here. I pray my husband will be safe on his deployment back to Iraq.
Thursday, December 23
On my mind
So lately I've been a bit sad and confused. I'm so excited to be moving along with the adoption, we are seriously almost in the official waiting stages. The social worker in PA with AA is working on our home study review today and has hopes to have it sent to my agency in VA next week. How awesome is that! I'm so excited! I feel like i have to have the nursery ready in the event we get a no notice call and have to be in the states right away.
So where am I going with my feelings? I feel "left-out" and "it's not fair". I really want to have a baby shower, but it's impossible because of where I live, where my family lives, and the logistics of it all. I know if I were to have a biological child, I'd still not have a baby-shower from family, so it's not because we're adopting that I feel left out, it's just the position we are in right now. Always living SO far away from family. It's sad. I miss being around family for gatherings. I want to feel the love and excitement that I feel towards everyone displayed to me for once. It's not going to happen and I shouldn't expect it to. I don't mind buying everything ourselves, it's not that, I want their support and blessings. Will I ever get it? I wonder all the time! I want my kid to be spoiled by their grandparents and visit and play with their cousins often, but that won't happen and it's SAD! I loved how I grew up. Living so close to all my relatives, staying the night at their houses, playing with them all the time, it was fun...and my children are going to miss out on knowing their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and all other close family. Two people I really hope to bring my baby to see is my grandma and grandpa, I don't see them that often and to introduce my child to them would be something special to me.
Well I'm going to put my thoughts to sleep now, have a good night!
So where am I going with my feelings? I feel "left-out" and "it's not fair". I really want to have a baby shower, but it's impossible because of where I live, where my family lives, and the logistics of it all. I know if I were to have a biological child, I'd still not have a baby-shower from family, so it's not because we're adopting that I feel left out, it's just the position we are in right now. Always living SO far away from family. It's sad. I miss being around family for gatherings. I want to feel the love and excitement that I feel towards everyone displayed to me for once. It's not going to happen and I shouldn't expect it to. I don't mind buying everything ourselves, it's not that, I want their support and blessings. Will I ever get it? I wonder all the time! I want my kid to be spoiled by their grandparents and visit and play with their cousins often, but that won't happen and it's SAD! I loved how I grew up. Living so close to all my relatives, staying the night at their houses, playing with them all the time, it was fun...and my children are going to miss out on knowing their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and all other close family. Two people I really hope to bring my baby to see is my grandma and grandpa, I don't see them that often and to introduce my child to them would be something special to me.
Well I'm going to put my thoughts to sleep now, have a good night!
Parties
So on Sunday was hubbies 30th birthday. I was a bit disappointed that the weather turned nasty and his surprise party was postponed, but I went with the flow of things. I made him a special cake, the first time I've made him a cake in the 9 years we've been together. He LOVED the surprise cake.
It's been snowing a lot here the past few weeks so I've been down about that, I feel as if I'm stuck inside because the roads are so bad and I'm not one to go driving in them. Also, it doesn't help that I don't have my all-season tires, hopefully early next week I'll get them.
I've been preparing all week for a party that is happening tomorrow at our friends home, the parties have been a blast the past 3 years, so I'm looking forward to this year in a new country, with new friends, along for the party.
On Tuesday we received the nightstand and contour changing pad for the nursery...which of course I was putting together right away. On Wednesday we received our "grown-up bedding" and the nursery changing pad covers. I call it the grown up bedding because I've felt like we've been living as college students with Target bedding. Nothing wrong with Target, but I felt like we needed something a little more sophisticated. Hubby actually picked it out, much to my surprise, but it looks really nice...i think anyways :).
Last night I finally was able to throw hubby his surprise party. It was less people than planned, but I didn't feel like calling everyone and hubby prefers smaller crowds anyways. It turned out perfect and he was totally surprised. Here's how I got him to the building...i told him our friends had won a bookcase and the husband needed help carrying it out of the building, hubby thought that was sweet and he'd love to help. That was easy! Then I put all the decorations, cupcakes and present in the trunk of my car and our friends stopped by, grabbed the stuff and set up the decorations and table (it looked nice too) Then we got over there and we parked next to their vehicle and walked in the back door (the pizza door), I said this is where they wanted us to meet them :). Well when we walked in, I saw them and walked over there and they said Happy Birthday! Surprise! He said...is this for me? Yeah, sure is, happy birthday baby, I love you!
I wanted to do a "I'm a big boy now" them, but i found Elmo saying "Yippee for you and Hooray for you"...so we made it out to be hooray, you're finally a big boy rolling with the big dawgs :) Oh and the cupcakes were SO cute, they were Santa hats
Birthday man sporting his "big boy" cup and pin, then his gifts
party clan
All the way home, he was thanking me for the party, he was so surprised and shocked.
Today I baked ALL day, it was so much fun. I baked chocolate covered peanut butter sandwiches, nut clusters, holiday pretzels, peanut butter temptations, and on Monday I made chocolate pecan bars. Everything turned out so yummy!
So, as you can see, this week has been busy, but extremely fun!
Saturday, December 18
Adoption Forum
Wow...it's nearing 1030 PM and hubby and I are still up! I know, it's a complete shock, but hubby has a 12 page paper to write for his masters class. Poor guy, but I guess that's what he gets for waiting till the day of to write all of it...can you say procrastination?!?
I frequent an adoption forum from my agency in VA, however I think I'm going to back away from it. The ladies on it have gotten rude in replying to comments this week and it's discomforting. It's a christian agency, so you'd think the women would be a little polite...you can't leave your opinion on their without being attacked! I personally haven't been attacked, but there have been 3 incidents this week were 3 different ladies were attacked. I found it to be rude and uncalled for and DO NOT want to be associated with the forum if that is how they will be treating people. People have a right to their opinions and should be able to voice them without being attacked. Sometimes, people are just curious about something and want to know more, innocently. I'm afraid to post anything on there because I'm afraid of being attacked. It's suppose to be a place to go to ask questions, get others views, learn new things, meet new people, and share ideas. Because I'm new to adoption, I have a TON of questions, but don't feel I can ask without looking stupid for asking the question or being attacked because someone don't agree with my thinking. Oh the frustration! I wonder if I will be able to stop looking at the site? Maybe if I take a short break, then longer, then even longer I will eventually be okay with stopping. I feel addicted to the site though because I love reading other people's experiences and learning from them and their dealings with things.
On a bright side of things, I went shopping today in Saarbrucken, Germany. I went with my friend and her girls, and it was a lot of fun! It was my first time in a mall over here so I thank her for asking me to join them. The mall was filled with a lot of trinkets and Pier One type stores. I loved it, if only I had shelves to put stuff, I'd be buying! Hubby already thinks I'm a trinket collector, so why not really start collecting them. He'd really have a cow then...LOL. The stuff was SO cute though...I did buy my youngest brother a cute moose, his nickname is moose, so I saw it and it fit him well.
Hubbies birthday is tomorrow and I'm going to have him a surprise party with 2 families we know, just something small since he's not into this type of thing. He's turning the big 30, so i wanted to make it a big deal. We are going to go to a pizza place and I bought some decorations with the theme of Elmo...LOL. It's Yippee for You and Hooray for You...meaning finally you are 30 and a big boy now...I can't wait. I wasn't going to do anything for him because of fear he'd be mad and embarrassed, then that would make me feel sad. But I decided to and will take the grunting if I have to. I'm SO excited! I'll post pictures on Monday probably.
I frequent an adoption forum from my agency in VA, however I think I'm going to back away from it. The ladies on it have gotten rude in replying to comments this week and it's discomforting. It's a christian agency, so you'd think the women would be a little polite...you can't leave your opinion on their without being attacked! I personally haven't been attacked, but there have been 3 incidents this week were 3 different ladies were attacked. I found it to be rude and uncalled for and DO NOT want to be associated with the forum if that is how they will be treating people. People have a right to their opinions and should be able to voice them without being attacked. Sometimes, people are just curious about something and want to know more, innocently. I'm afraid to post anything on there because I'm afraid of being attacked. It's suppose to be a place to go to ask questions, get others views, learn new things, meet new people, and share ideas. Because I'm new to adoption, I have a TON of questions, but don't feel I can ask without looking stupid for asking the question or being attacked because someone don't agree with my thinking. Oh the frustration! I wonder if I will be able to stop looking at the site? Maybe if I take a short break, then longer, then even longer I will eventually be okay with stopping. I feel addicted to the site though because I love reading other people's experiences and learning from them and their dealings with things.
On a bright side of things, I went shopping today in Saarbrucken, Germany. I went with my friend and her girls, and it was a lot of fun! It was my first time in a mall over here so I thank her for asking me to join them. The mall was filled with a lot of trinkets and Pier One type stores. I loved it, if only I had shelves to put stuff, I'd be buying! Hubby already thinks I'm a trinket collector, so why not really start collecting them. He'd really have a cow then...LOL. The stuff was SO cute though...I did buy my youngest brother a cute moose, his nickname is moose, so I saw it and it fit him well.
Hubbies birthday is tomorrow and I'm going to have him a surprise party with 2 families we know, just something small since he's not into this type of thing. He's turning the big 30, so i wanted to make it a big deal. We are going to go to a pizza place and I bought some decorations with the theme of Elmo...LOL. It's Yippee for You and Hooray for You...meaning finally you are 30 and a big boy now...I can't wait. I wasn't going to do anything for him because of fear he'd be mad and embarrassed, then that would make me feel sad. But I decided to and will take the grunting if I have to. I'm SO excited! I'll post pictures on Monday probably.
Friday, December 17
Final meet
Oh the meeting is over and it went really well. I was REALLY organized so it made the meeting go really fast and she was impressed how organized I had everything and how I took her suggestion to use a 3 ring binder. I have to say, I did awesome keeping on top of all the adoption paperwork. If you're going through the process, you know what I'm talking about! I was not able to get the packet in the mail to be on it's merry way to PA, so I was disappointed in that, but it's OK. On Monday it will now go DHL overnight and they will receive the wonderful packet Tuesday morning. It's going to cost 67.60 Euros, but I figure this is going to be worth it. With the holiday season approaching within days, I should do everything I can to get the packet before the holidays so they can hopefully get it to court next week or the following. Really hoping BCS in VA receives the official copy of the home study by the 10th so we won't have to redo our fingerprints.
We had about 3 inches of snow last night, so schools were closed around here today. Hubby also had off, but not because of the snow, it was a goal day for some squadrons. I'm glad he was home at able to be at the meeting, not like we did anything that needed to involve him, but I feel like he should participate whenever he can. Last night as I was finishing up some last minute stuff, I wished that he would have helped more in preparing everything. It's done now, so oh well, life will move on.
Tonight we are going to watch Inception so I should get out there.
Have a good night everyone!
We had about 3 inches of snow last night, so schools were closed around here today. Hubby also had off, but not because of the snow, it was a goal day for some squadrons. I'm glad he was home at able to be at the meeting, not like we did anything that needed to involve him, but I feel like he should participate whenever he can. Last night as I was finishing up some last minute stuff, I wished that he would have helped more in preparing everything. It's done now, so oh well, life will move on.
Tonight we are going to watch Inception so I should get out there.
Have a good night everyone!
Wednesday, December 15
Christmas Tree and Monkey Boy's Haircut
Before
After
Thanks to my wonderful sister that sent me a package and included in it was a pair of clippers so i could give monkey boy a haircut...which he desperately needed! I love the way it turned out, i need more practice on his legs and feet, but I'll get there.
Night Night
Teenagers!?!
My vent for the day...
So as I'm watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV, the girl pregnant says..."it's cute", talking about her belly. I guess I'm a bit frustrated because are teens getting pregnant because "it's cute" to be pregnant? Teens (most, I won't say all) are too young, immature, and irresponsible to raise a baby. Why are they getting pregnant and expecting their parents raise and support their baby? I've been watching 16 and Pregnant since the very first season episode one, and suddenly today it hits me, why?
Some of you may be confused as why I would be frustrated with teens having babies because you'd think I'd be happy and secretly hoping they'd give their baby the best option and choose adoption. Teens are less likely to place their children into loving homes through adoption (from what I've read). Most teens don't have a job, earn money (maybe a weekly allowance), so how is it they think they can raise a baby. Why are the parents of the new parents taking the responsibility? It's not their responsibility, it's their child's. Now I'm not saying the parents of the new parents shouldn't love on their grandchild, it's their right to. But what about the families that can't support bringing in another child into their family? Why are they bringing the newborn home when they know they can't support the baby. Yes, they love that baby, but babies need a lot of support too, not just love!
Where am I going with this? I think teens should stop thinking "it's cute" to be pregnant and really think of the outcome of what happens when they do get pregnant. It's not their parent's responsibility to take care and support their baby. I guess it's the immature side of teenagers that are talking up the hype of being pregnant?
Enough on the venting...
So we haven't made it to the gym yet this week, we make every good intention, but it just doesn't happen. The mornings are SO cold, we don't want to get out of the warm bed, so we continue to sleep until 0630, then we really have to wake up so hubby can get ready to be at work for 0730. So since we don't go in the morning, we plan to go at night after hubby gets off work...still haven't went. He get's home around 7 so I think it's crazy to go to the gym for an hour, then eat, then go to bed. I HATE eating and then laying down. I like to have a few hours in between my meal and sleep. Maybe what I should do is I should eat at 5, get ready for the gym, go to the gym, hubby eat, shower, then bed. That would work for me, but I hate eating by myself, i feel like when I eat by myself I don't need to make a meal because I'd just have ceral if it was only me eating. But hubby expects a meal, and which he should. But maybe this is the schedule that will work for us...eating by ourselves, but enjoying gym time together? We'll see if we make it tonight.
I did get my car over to the maintenance shop yesterday, the tow truck guy came and was able to get it started, so I drove it over and he followed me...that was nice of him! Now it will sit there until the 20th to see what's wrong with it. I hope and pray that it's nothing major because we can't afford major car repair, plus having to wintererize the cars per the German laws. New tires for both cars will be expensive!
That's it for now...have a fantabulous day!
So as I'm watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV, the girl pregnant says..."it's cute", talking about her belly. I guess I'm a bit frustrated because are teens getting pregnant because "it's cute" to be pregnant? Teens (most, I won't say all) are too young, immature, and irresponsible to raise a baby. Why are they getting pregnant and expecting their parents raise and support their baby? I've been watching 16 and Pregnant since the very first season episode one, and suddenly today it hits me, why?
Some of you may be confused as why I would be frustrated with teens having babies because you'd think I'd be happy and secretly hoping they'd give their baby the best option and choose adoption. Teens are less likely to place their children into loving homes through adoption (from what I've read). Most teens don't have a job, earn money (maybe a weekly allowance), so how is it they think they can raise a baby. Why are the parents of the new parents taking the responsibility? It's not their responsibility, it's their child's. Now I'm not saying the parents of the new parents shouldn't love on their grandchild, it's their right to. But what about the families that can't support bringing in another child into their family? Why are they bringing the newborn home when they know they can't support the baby. Yes, they love that baby, but babies need a lot of support too, not just love!
Where am I going with this? I think teens should stop thinking "it's cute" to be pregnant and really think of the outcome of what happens when they do get pregnant. It's not their parent's responsibility to take care and support their baby. I guess it's the immature side of teenagers that are talking up the hype of being pregnant?
Enough on the venting...
So we haven't made it to the gym yet this week, we make every good intention, but it just doesn't happen. The mornings are SO cold, we don't want to get out of the warm bed, so we continue to sleep until 0630, then we really have to wake up so hubby can get ready to be at work for 0730. So since we don't go in the morning, we plan to go at night after hubby gets off work...still haven't went. He get's home around 7 so I think it's crazy to go to the gym for an hour, then eat, then go to bed. I HATE eating and then laying down. I like to have a few hours in between my meal and sleep. Maybe what I should do is I should eat at 5, get ready for the gym, go to the gym, hubby eat, shower, then bed. That would work for me, but I hate eating by myself, i feel like when I eat by myself I don't need to make a meal because I'd just have ceral if it was only me eating. But hubby expects a meal, and which he should. But maybe this is the schedule that will work for us...eating by ourselves, but enjoying gym time together? We'll see if we make it tonight.
I did get my car over to the maintenance shop yesterday, the tow truck guy came and was able to get it started, so I drove it over and he followed me...that was nice of him! Now it will sit there until the 20th to see what's wrong with it. I hope and pray that it's nothing major because we can't afford major car repair, plus having to wintererize the cars per the German laws. New tires for both cars will be expensive!
That's it for now...have a fantabulous day!
Sunday, December 12
Reflections
As I sit here sipping on a glass of Moscoto, I've decided to reflect on the past few days. Not having a car is definitely the most hardening things to go through. Having to rely on my husband to take me places when I need to get many or just heavy things is a pain. He's not much of a shopper and I'd rather go by myself as I can stand around and browse if I want. With him, it's hurry up, get in and get out. Then I also spend A LOT more money when he's along...like today for instance...we spent $237 at the BX, when I would have spent maybe $120 at most. We didn't need what he wanted to get, but we got the stuff anyways...he insisted. At the grocery store we spent nearly $200 ($9 shy), but I am doing a lot of cooking and baking so things were needed on this trip since I don't plan to go during the week without a car.
On Saturday morning around 2 am, I woke up terrified and crying. I've had a dream about my hubby and I out in the woods in the middle of nowhere, staying at a hotel and for some reason, 2 of my brothers were also there. First it starts out that the bathrooms at this hotel are on the outside of the hotel and are glass windows floor to ceiling. So when I'd go to the bathroom, this guy pulls up and sees everything and shakes his head...I'm scared of him. Later, we go to bed and I see a shadow in our doorway so i nudge hubby to tell him and he yanks me to the floor next to the bed. I suddenly hear one of my brothers screaming so I think the man has one of them. I wake up and it's dark in my room so I'm still thinking I'm at that hotel, I'm confused and looking around. I opened our curtains to let what little light there is out, in. I started crying I was so scared, it was hard to fall back asleep and hubby just held me and wiped my tears. Now, this is the second time I've had this dream since we've moved over here, but the first dream didn't have my brothers in it. Why would I dream the same dream over and over? I don't ever recall being woken up from a dream terrified and crying, why now?
Today I had a nice web visit with my sister, we don't typically chat on weekends, so it was nice when she called me and then we got on camera. Her little miss was looking so grown up and stinking cute today too. I miss them so much! Hopefully I can go to the states SOON!
Hubbies been focusing on his studies, he has 2 courses for work plus a class for his master's degree. He spent 7 hours at work yesterday and 4.5 hours today. He's taking one test tomorrow, then on Wednesday the other class is due for work. We went on a nice walk last night, came back and showered then watched 1408. We didn't finish the movie because it was going on 11 and I was sleepy, yep, me...sleepy.
Well tonight I told hubby I'd go with him to the gym in the morning at 0430! Wow...am I crazy for even saying I would...I wonder if I actually will? If I do, I'd be quite surprised...LOL. Waking up early (around 6) has been relatively easy these past few weeks, so what's a few hours earlier? I hope nothing and I hope that my mind will tell me...Let's Go!
Time for me to close, enjoy your day!
On Saturday morning around 2 am, I woke up terrified and crying. I've had a dream about my hubby and I out in the woods in the middle of nowhere, staying at a hotel and for some reason, 2 of my brothers were also there. First it starts out that the bathrooms at this hotel are on the outside of the hotel and are glass windows floor to ceiling. So when I'd go to the bathroom, this guy pulls up and sees everything and shakes his head...I'm scared of him. Later, we go to bed and I see a shadow in our doorway so i nudge hubby to tell him and he yanks me to the floor next to the bed. I suddenly hear one of my brothers screaming so I think the man has one of them. I wake up and it's dark in my room so I'm still thinking I'm at that hotel, I'm confused and looking around. I opened our curtains to let what little light there is out, in. I started crying I was so scared, it was hard to fall back asleep and hubby just held me and wiped my tears. Now, this is the second time I've had this dream since we've moved over here, but the first dream didn't have my brothers in it. Why would I dream the same dream over and over? I don't ever recall being woken up from a dream terrified and crying, why now?
Today I had a nice web visit with my sister, we don't typically chat on weekends, so it was nice when she called me and then we got on camera. Her little miss was looking so grown up and stinking cute today too. I miss them so much! Hopefully I can go to the states SOON!
Hubbies been focusing on his studies, he has 2 courses for work plus a class for his master's degree. He spent 7 hours at work yesterday and 4.5 hours today. He's taking one test tomorrow, then on Wednesday the other class is due for work. We went on a nice walk last night, came back and showered then watched 1408. We didn't finish the movie because it was going on 11 and I was sleepy, yep, me...sleepy.
Well tonight I told hubby I'd go with him to the gym in the morning at 0430! Wow...am I crazy for even saying I would...I wonder if I actually will? If I do, I'd be quite surprised...LOL. Waking up early (around 6) has been relatively easy these past few weeks, so what's a few hours earlier? I hope nothing and I hope that my mind will tell me...Let's Go!
Time for me to close, enjoy your day!
Thursday, December 9
Rescheduled
The meeting with the social worker has been rescheduled 2 days later, the 17th at the same time. I also received an email from her about what we can expect and this is what she said:
I need to make a grocery list of everything we're going to need for the next week since hubby's going to take me to the store Saturday morning, then on Sunday morning we'll go to church then the BX. Then during the week, if we forgot something, I'll be able to walk up to the store and grab the forgotten stuff, as long as it's not heavy :). Today I'm going to walk up to the store and buy the stuff for chex muddy buddies...i call them puppy chow, but when i told my friend about it, she thought i was really making my pup some puppy chow...LOL. So now, when I say puppy chow, you know :).
Today I'm just watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel and I've also been doing some studying in the Bible, I've had a few questions lately so I wanted to get things clarified.
Have a great day and thanks for reading!
We will put the docs needed packet together when we meet, this will include all your originals, and copies where acceptable (marriage license from US state, birth cert...). You will then mail it to PA. w/ tracking number (priority or express usually).
I will email you a copy of the home study for review, then once you both approve it, it goes to my supervisor in PA., after her review, the study is sent to the courts. Once it is finalized in the court, you receive 4 official copies. This is what you submit to your agency.
With the holidays, I can not say if this will be done by Jan.10,2011. After the agency receives the packet and study, it can take up to 30 days, but I will let the agency know you your wishes. Maybe they will send 1 official report to your agency? We can ask the PA office.
With that, I really hope the PA office will send that 1 official report by the 10th of January, if not, looks like we will be re-fingerprinted. But that's no big deal really because once BCS sends those in, it only takes about a week to get the results back. We're looking at the end of January to be officially waiting. That's exciting, about 6 more weeks until our profile can be viewed and hopefully chosen relatively quickly. My hopes are when we go to the states in May for my sisters graduation, we will already have our baby in our arms and can cross state lines. My parents will hopefully be at the graduation and that would be really nice for them to meet their grandchild, my child, the child I've waited to love, nurture, and care for.
Yesterday was a day I was excited for, I was to get a lot of errands done. Well that all got put on hold when I went to the car and it didn't start! At first, I must admit, I was angry and frustrated, but quickly overcame it because I don't NEED a car, it's just a convenience. Everything I need is within walking distance if I really need something. Was this a message that I shouldn't take things for granted? Possibly, but I'm glad my anger and frustration didn't last more than 2 minutes, I'm glad I was able to look in the positive light of things.
Hubby didn't go on his trip that was planned. Again, at first, i was upset (only because we're not getting all that extra money)...but now glad he's around, the weather is not the best here, it's SO unpredictable and every thing's always shut down. I'm glad he's not our driving in this, it's not safe. Yesterday was a day I was excited for, I was to get a lot of errands done. Well that all got put on hold when I went to the car and it didn't start! At first, I must admit, I was angry and frustrated, but quickly overcame it because I don't NEED a car, it's just a convenience. Everything I need is within walking distance if I really need something. Was this a message that I shouldn't take things for granted? Possibly, but I'm glad my anger and frustration didn't last more than 2 minutes, I'm glad I was able to look in the positive light of things.
I need to make a grocery list of everything we're going to need for the next week since hubby's going to take me to the store Saturday morning, then on Sunday morning we'll go to church then the BX. Then during the week, if we forgot something, I'll be able to walk up to the store and grab the forgotten stuff, as long as it's not heavy :). Today I'm going to walk up to the store and buy the stuff for chex muddy buddies...i call them puppy chow, but when i told my friend about it, she thought i was really making my pup some puppy chow...LOL. So now, when I say puppy chow, you know :).
Today I'm just watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel and I've also been doing some studying in the Bible, I've had a few questions lately so I wanted to get things clarified.
Have a great day and thanks for reading!
Tuesday, December 7
Meeting scheduled
So we FINALLY have a meeting scheduled to put the adoption packet together to get sent in to the courts for approval in PA. I'm going to email our agency in VA to see if we'll need to get re-fingerprinted because it's taken SO long...i hope not. I wonder if because our home study will be approved by the PA courts, if the VA office will still have to send it in for approval in the VA courts? We will be meeting with the social worker on Dec 15th, if only it could have been this week...oh well, at least we have a date set. I think she put it a week out because the office in PA still hasn't received the VA clearance and she's playing it safe, or maybe she's actually going to write up the study? Nonetheless, we have the appointment and I can calm down.
We had lots of snow last night, so many schools around here are closed today. You'd think Germany would be used to the snow and wouldn't close down schools for 3 inches of snow. Since I need to get snow tires on my car, I won't be going anywhere today, unless the roads get cleared. I'd just be sliding all around, not worth the embarrassment or ticket. I'd get fined 40 Euro for not having the snow tire...then if an accident occurred from me, I'd get fined 80 Euro...sure that's not a lot, but I still don't want to get a ticket. Not like I NEED anything anyways.
Yesterday I went to the BX and bought 2 packages of diapers. I got the Pampers Swaddlers because they had a $3 coupon on them so I bought a size 1 and 2. I don't want to buy many diapers because if we have a boy, then we'd need Huggies. I just want to have a package in the house when we come back home, that'd be the size 2. The size 1 we will take to the states with us since we have a few things anyways that would need to come along. I also ordered the changing pad mattress and covers from Amazon...oh and a nightstand to put th baby lamp on. Baby Beethoven Discovery Kit was also purchased.
I'm going back and forth on if I should buy a stroller in the states or if it won't be necessary. I'm going to buy a Baby Bjorn type thingy to wear the baby close to start bonding, so would a stroller be necessary? I'm trying to think of less things to bring back on the flight. We'll already have a pack and play, carseat, diaper bag, probably a large suitcase filled with baby stuff...just for the baby, plus my large suitcase. I'm assuming hubby will leave before ICPC is signed and baby and I will stay in the states and visit family for probably 6 weeks. I'm thinking ICPC will take 2-3 weeks before we can leave the state, that will be great bonding time since I don't have family in VA.
Here's pictures of the nursery so far...bedding not made since we don't have the mattress yet.
We had lots of snow last night, so many schools around here are closed today. You'd think Germany would be used to the snow and wouldn't close down schools for 3 inches of snow. Since I need to get snow tires on my car, I won't be going anywhere today, unless the roads get cleared. I'd just be sliding all around, not worth the embarrassment or ticket. I'd get fined 40 Euro for not having the snow tire...then if an accident occurred from me, I'd get fined 80 Euro...sure that's not a lot, but I still don't want to get a ticket. Not like I NEED anything anyways.
Yesterday I went to the BX and bought 2 packages of diapers. I got the Pampers Swaddlers because they had a $3 coupon on them so I bought a size 1 and 2. I don't want to buy many diapers because if we have a boy, then we'd need Huggies. I just want to have a package in the house when we come back home, that'd be the size 2. The size 1 we will take to the states with us since we have a few things anyways that would need to come along. I also ordered the changing pad mattress and covers from Amazon...oh and a nightstand to put th baby lamp on. Baby Beethoven Discovery Kit was also purchased.
I'm going back and forth on if I should buy a stroller in the states or if it won't be necessary. I'm going to buy a Baby Bjorn type thingy to wear the baby close to start bonding, so would a stroller be necessary? I'm trying to think of less things to bring back on the flight. We'll already have a pack and play, carseat, diaper bag, probably a large suitcase filled with baby stuff...just for the baby, plus my large suitcase. I'm assuming hubby will leave before ICPC is signed and baby and I will stay in the states and visit family for probably 6 weeks. I'm thinking ICPC will take 2-3 weeks before we can leave the state, that will be great bonding time since I don't have family in VA.
Here's pictures of the nursery so far...bedding not made since we don't have the mattress yet.
still boxed up
put together...in the corner where the lamp is, we will put a rocking chair
and the dresser top will be the changing table
picture of the bedding from the bag
Monday, December 6
Bad timing?
I've got myself wondering lately if we chose to start the adoption process at the wrong time of year...wondering if because of all these holidays if we're going to have to get things redone because things won't happen within the time schedule for them? I'm worried about the home study taking so long, we had the initial meeting on Oct 5th, the social worker said she would write up the study and when we get the clearances in, she would plug the info into the study. I'm not sure she's done anything with our home study report because she does not seem active in our case. It makes me worried and at times I feel so angry as to why things are taking SO long. I believe in my heart that we have made the right decisions, but it's the waiting that is making me second guess everything.
I finished putting the nursery together, the furniture is so cute! I can't wait to get a mattress so we can make the bed up. Should I wash the bedding now or wait until we get the call? If I wash it now, but don't meet our baby for another 6 months, would I have to rewash it? What about the handful of onsies that we have? Oh, and what product is safe to clean the furniture? I wouldn't think pledge would be safe if the child decides to start gnawing on the edge of the crib? Hubby thinks it's okay, but I'm a bit concerned. I'll take a picture today, then another one when we get the mattress and the bed is made up.
I've also decided to wait on hanging up the pictures that go with the bedding set because after we bring the baby home, I want to get the letters that make the name and put it in between the two pictures. I think that would look nice. We are also going to use the top of the dresser as the changing table. We still need to buy: mattress, changing pad, night stand, and rocking chair. Plus, all the baby basics we need like bath stuff, clothes, diapers, wipes and so on and so on...just don't want to buy all that now because what if we don't meet our baby for a few months? Would the stuff go bad? Not really wanting to buy clothes because we could adopt a baby up to a year old.
Prayer has been a big part of my nightly routine lately, I've been praying every night for our expectant parents, hoping they are pregnant right now, and praying for peace and patience as we wait. There have been many families on a discussion board that I've been reading that have had failed placements or the courts have them on hold in another country. I've been praying for these families that they will be united with their children soon. Then I like to give thanks to the Lord for all the love he has given and shown. (We really need to find a church here, I feel so lost and love to sit in the pew and talk to Him).
Sorry for the vent...feeling so sad and lost today
I finished putting the nursery together, the furniture is so cute! I can't wait to get a mattress so we can make the bed up. Should I wash the bedding now or wait until we get the call? If I wash it now, but don't meet our baby for another 6 months, would I have to rewash it? What about the handful of onsies that we have? Oh, and what product is safe to clean the furniture? I wouldn't think pledge would be safe if the child decides to start gnawing on the edge of the crib? Hubby thinks it's okay, but I'm a bit concerned. I'll take a picture today, then another one when we get the mattress and the bed is made up.
I've also decided to wait on hanging up the pictures that go with the bedding set because after we bring the baby home, I want to get the letters that make the name and put it in between the two pictures. I think that would look nice. We are also going to use the top of the dresser as the changing table. We still need to buy: mattress, changing pad, night stand, and rocking chair. Plus, all the baby basics we need like bath stuff, clothes, diapers, wipes and so on and so on...just don't want to buy all that now because what if we don't meet our baby for a few months? Would the stuff go bad? Not really wanting to buy clothes because we could adopt a baby up to a year old.
Prayer has been a big part of my nightly routine lately, I've been praying every night for our expectant parents, hoping they are pregnant right now, and praying for peace and patience as we wait. There have been many families on a discussion board that I've been reading that have had failed placements or the courts have them on hold in another country. I've been praying for these families that they will be united with their children soon. Then I like to give thanks to the Lord for all the love he has given and shown. (We really need to find a church here, I feel so lost and love to sit in the pew and talk to Him).
Sorry for the vent...feeling so sad and lost today
Friday, December 3
Dresser
I put the dresser together today, it made me so happy to be doing this. It makes it seem like we will actually have our family soon...I know we will, but after 9 years of trying, the light is finally being seen...so excited!!!
Tomorrow hubby and I will put the crib together and also are planning to go to our favorite restaurant, a Thai place in town...it's SO yummy!!
I also had a haircut today. I was extremely nervous to go, but really glad I did, I love the cut and style! I don't think it will fit in a pony-tail anymore, but it's so cute that I don't think I'll want to put it up. Hubby came home really early today and surprised me. He's normally home around 630-7pm and tonight it was at 5! How awesome is he! Then we sat down and watched Hancock, great movie.
He's in bed sleeping and I'm about to go join him, I'm so tired. he's been waking me up around 630am all week! Hopefully tomorrow he'll let me sleep in a bit?
Have a good night!
Tomorrow hubby and I will put the crib together and also are planning to go to our favorite restaurant, a Thai place in town...it's SO yummy!!
I also had a haircut today. I was extremely nervous to go, but really glad I did, I love the cut and style! I don't think it will fit in a pony-tail anymore, but it's so cute that I don't think I'll want to put it up. Hubby came home really early today and surprised me. He's normally home around 630-7pm and tonight it was at 5! How awesome is he! Then we sat down and watched Hancock, great movie.
He's in bed sleeping and I'm about to go join him, I'm so tired. he's been waking me up around 630am all week! Hopefully tomorrow he'll let me sleep in a bit?
Have a good night!
Furniture
Yah...we picked up the baby furniture that our friends brought here for us. I'm so thankful they were willing to add 200 pounds to their shipment so I could have the furniture I liked. They are the best! I think I'm going to put together the dresser...I was thinking it would be together already, but it's NOT...um, that's just weird. But I'm more than happy to put it together because I like doing things like that.
I'm beginning to get frustrated with our social worker here, she's not very active. I know she only does this part time, but really, you wait to respond to emails until after 11pm? It's almost like she don't want a response. We're only waiting for the VA child abuse clearance to get sent to the PA office, so I would think we could have our last meeting and she could have the home study done and sent to the PA office and they could insert it in the package for the courts. She's dragging her feet and I'm thinking we will have to get re-fingerprinted for VA FBI clearance as they expire 90 days if the home study is not done and approved, well on Jan 6, it will be 90 days...oh the frustrations.
I'm beginning to get frustrated with our social worker here, she's not very active. I know she only does this part time, but really, you wait to respond to emails until after 11pm? It's almost like she don't want a response. We're only waiting for the VA child abuse clearance to get sent to the PA office, so I would think we could have our last meeting and she could have the home study done and sent to the PA office and they could insert it in the package for the courts. She's dragging her feet and I'm thinking we will have to get re-fingerprinted for VA FBI clearance as they expire 90 days if the home study is not done and approved, well on Jan 6, it will be 90 days...oh the frustrations.
Wednesday, December 1
What we learned
So the trip was fun, but definitely not worth the price we paid for the tour. I don't recommend doing a tour with a company and don't think hubby and I will do one ever again. Sure, we may take a trip with friends of ours, but not a company tour. The meals that were planned were okay, but you didn't get much food for as much as you paid. A sliver of this and a sliver of that for 45 Euro each meal...ridiculous!
We were thankful that we had each other during the trip and that we stayed healthy and didn't get sick. We were tired of eating sandwiches and pizza, but at least we were able to eat and didn't have to starve any. We were thankful that we had a roof over our heads even if the hotels were not what we would have picked, our bus driver kept us safe as he was a fantastic driver through the chaotic towns.
Now that we're home, we're waiting on an appointment to meet with our social worker for our last visit to put the packet together to get mailed to the courts in PA. Hopefully this week, but no telling.
Well I hope you enjoy the postings of our trip and pictures.
We were thankful that we had each other during the trip and that we stayed healthy and didn't get sick. We were tired of eating sandwiches and pizza, but at least we were able to eat and didn't have to starve any. We were thankful that we had a roof over our heads even if the hotels were not what we would have picked, our bus driver kept us safe as he was a fantastic driver through the chaotic towns.
Now that we're home, we're waiting on an appointment to meet with our social worker for our last visit to put the packet together to get mailed to the courts in PA. Hopefully this week, but no telling.
Well I hope you enjoy the postings of our trip and pictures.
Italy Day 6
Our last day was spent in Florence for 5 hours. It was a cold, rainy day, but we survived. There was a marathon in town this day so the traffic was a bit hard to get around. We walked to a store where they showed us how they made their leather, Peruzzi...everything was really expensive so we bought little things that weren't as expensive but still would get used. We walked around the Piazza del Duomo square and since the rain and marathon were around, most of the shops were closed. We saw the Florence Cathedral, then walked to see statues, but since it was raining and cold, my fingers were numb so I only got a picture of the Cathedral. I did manage to get a picture of the first lady that was in the lead running in the marathon. We left Florence at 1300 and arrived home at 0320. Long ride, but so glad to be home!
Italy Day 5
Today we visited the Vatican and Sistine Chapel. The weather really cleared up and we St. Peter's square, Sistine Chapel and the Vatican art museums. The art work is very beautiful and pre-historic, most of it dating centuries before Christ's birth. We got tons of pictures, but I wasn't sure which ones to add since we're not Catholic and a lot of the pictures were symbolic to Catholicism. We drove to Florence to end the night. We weren't allowed to get pictures inside the Sistine Chapel, but I will say that it was beautiful and amazing in there.
Few Pictures:
Few Pictures:
Vatican
ton of statues
The Belvedere Torso
Just liked this one :)
Pope's rooms
Window where the Pope comes out
Italy Day 4
Today we drove to Pompeii and Sorrento with heavy showers, so the boat trip to the Isle of Capri was cancelled. Pompeii, the ancient civilization that was destroyed in an instant by the volcanic eruption of Mount Vesuvius, was amazing and sophisticated. The structural columns match those of the Roman basilicas; there were gardens, rainwater drainage systems, legible mosaics that depicted life of the age, and even two excavated bodies of Pompeiians who were struck down during the eruption. The heavy rain made paying complete attention to the tour guide/history very hard. My hands were frozen and I couldn't barely handle my umbrella. These are time when I really hate having Raynauds and it makes me cry every time it gets in the way of having fun! We then traveled 3 hours to Sorrento, a small town that is regionally and internationally known for it's breathtaking views, orange and lemon groves. Lunches was served at Tasso's and the pizza was AMAZING! Their tomatoes in Sorrento are to die for! If only they would export them, I would eat them by themselves :)
Pictures:
Pictures:
Coffins
in the garden
view of the destruction
excavated body
view of the town
view in Sorrento
night view in Sorrento
Italy Day 3
Our nights sleep in the Golden Tulip in Rome was minimum. The beds were hard and uncomfortable. Oh well...we left the hotel around 0900 and visited the Colosseum, Pantheon, several Basilica's, Roman Forum, and finally settled for dinner at Opera Restaurant for Rome's version of the American Thanksgiving feast. Somehow as we were walking around the Roman Forum, I lost my ticket, so I was petrified that I couldn't get into the Colosseum. Gratefully, our tour guide gave me his ticket so I didn't have to buy a new one. We didn't have much Euro on us since we handed over 496 Euro the night before for what we thought would include the rest of the trip's excursions...well it didn't :(. So it was nice Andreas let me have his. When we went to the Trevi Fountain, we were able to find an ATM to take out Euro to last us the remaining 4 days. My favorite was after we were walking to the art gallery and I saw Giada De Laurentiis taking money out of an ATM, then walking through the streets of the gallery. My hubby called me the paparazzi and told me to stop taking pictures of her...LOL. I was so excited to see someone famous!
Pictures:
Pictures:
The "White House" of Rome
Group of protestors for education
Roman Forum
Colosseum
front shot of Roman Forum
Colosseum wall
Trevi Fountain
Pantheon
Giada
Thanksgiving dinner
Italy Day 2
Day 2:
We started our morning at 0700 with breakfast in the hotel. At 0745 we headed to the island of Venice. We took a boat and toured St. Marc's square, St. Marc's Basilica, Doge's Palace, Bridge of Sighs, and a glass blowing workshop. We also took a Gondola ride. St. Marc's Basilica was beautiful inside, a lot of detailed art and structures. Seeing how they made glass figures was pretty interesting, but the prices were very pricey, so we didn't buy any. The Gondola ride...well, disappointing! We paid 60 Euros and were under the impression that we would have the boat to ourselves and envisioned we would ride like you see in the movies. Well, not so much...we shared the boat with 4 others, shared the bottle of champagne, didn't get sung too, and didn't go under the famous bridge :(. It was a fun experience, but NOT worth the price we paid! We left Venice around 1500 and arrived in Rome around 2200. First impression was not so good...it was scary, we stayed in the not so good area of town. Why would they put us up in that area?
Pictures of Venice:
We started our morning at 0700 with breakfast in the hotel. At 0745 we headed to the island of Venice. We took a boat and toured St. Marc's square, St. Marc's Basilica, Doge's Palace, Bridge of Sighs, and a glass blowing workshop. We also took a Gondola ride. St. Marc's Basilica was beautiful inside, a lot of detailed art and structures. Seeing how they made glass figures was pretty interesting, but the prices were very pricey, so we didn't buy any. The Gondola ride...well, disappointing! We paid 60 Euros and were under the impression that we would have the boat to ourselves and envisioned we would ride like you see in the movies. Well, not so much...we shared the boat with 4 others, shared the bottle of champagne, didn't get sung too, and didn't go under the famous bridge :(. It was a fun experience, but NOT worth the price we paid! We left Venice around 1500 and arrived in Rome around 2200. First impression was not so good...it was scary, we stayed in the not so good area of town. Why would they put us up in that area?
Pictures of Venice:
Our tour guide
hubby and I
St. Marc's Basilica
Trying to enjoy the Gondola ride
Italy Day 1
So we made it back home at 320 am on Monday, was I ever glad to be home! It was a fun trip to be able to see all the different historical sites, however since we took a tour, there were of course flaws that came along with the trip. We kept a journal of our trip:
Day 1:
We departed around 0540 with 24 families, couples, and travelers. Andreas, our tour guide is a German; he's been touring Europe since 1985, so he was suited well for this trip. We stopped and took several pictures of our drive through Switzerland. The mountain side and lake beds were snow-covered, but very beautiful. I think that the Swiss mountains and passageways we breathtaking, I loved it! We arrived in Italy around 1600; Lake Garda, the original destination was cancelled due to wintry weather, so we visited Verona instead. We toured the Capulet House where Romeo is said to have first set his eyes upon Juliet. A local pizzeria hosted us for dinner, and we toured the local ancient walls. We departed Verona for a two-hour drive to Venice. We spent the night at Hotel Antony, Room 118.
Day 1:
We departed around 0540 with 24 families, couples, and travelers. Andreas, our tour guide is a German; he's been touring Europe since 1985, so he was suited well for this trip. We stopped and took several pictures of our drive through Switzerland. The mountain side and lake beds were snow-covered, but very beautiful. I think that the Swiss mountains and passageways we breathtaking, I loved it! We arrived in Italy around 1600; Lake Garda, the original destination was cancelled due to wintry weather, so we visited Verona instead. We toured the Capulet House where Romeo is said to have first set his eyes upon Juliet. A local pizzeria hosted us for dinner, and we toured the local ancient walls. We departed Verona for a two-hour drive to Venice. We spent the night at Hotel Antony, Room 118.
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