of emotions!! Oh my! Yesterday was a day of pouring rain...out of my eyes. It started because I'm exhausted and tired and can't sleep worth nothing. It's draining. For the past two weeks hubby has been getting up at 3:30 am (to go to the gym)! That's early. Well for me, when his alarm goes off, I'm up and can't get back to sleep. It takes at least 2 hours to fall asleep when I first lay down for the night, then him waking up early, me waking up to pee every hour, hips going numb from laying too long on one side, hard time turning over, I just can't sleep. Period. It's not that he's loud when he wakes up, because he's not. He's actually VERY quiet and considerate. It's just the alarm noises. I guess my exhaustion has built up for so long and I just couldn't hold it in yesterday. I feel like I'm not cut out for this next step in our lives. As hubby and I were talking last night to try to conquer this sleep dilemma I'm having, he asked me what I'm going to do when the baby is here and up every 2 hours. I told him it's different. With Xander, it was easy for me to fall back asleep after a feeding and I didn't have pure exhaustion. Maybe I was running on a high of being a new mom? However I did it, I didn't feel over run. It felt natural. I'm praying this sleep problem is just from the growing baby and expanding belly and it will go away after I deliver. I'm also praying that I won't feel so exhausted when the baby is home that I'm on constant meltdown. During our talk last night, we came up with a new plan that we will try out. Hubby will go to the gym after Xander goes to sleep at night...since i can't sleep right then anyways. Then he will get up at 5:45 to get ready for his day. I think this is better, I hope he can stick it out for the next 5 1/2 weeks. I suggested him just not going to the gym...lol. Yeah right. That's not even a possibility. Well he said it could be if I didn't buy snacks. Yeah right with that one! We all need our snacks.
Last night I actually sleep decent. I still got up to pee every hour, still had trouble turning over, and still had numb sides. But it was a different sleep. I feel rested this morning. Hubby didn't wake up at 3:30, but at 5:45. It was nice. Since I slept decent, tonight will be the night of no rest. It's an every other night event for me. One night semi okay, the next is horrible. Just 5 1/2 more weeks!! I will overcome this!
On a lighter note, I LOVE feeling this baby move inside me. It's a constant reminder that I'm not in control, He is! There's a reason we have been blessed with this unexpected blessing. One day we will know.
Thanks for sticking through this long venting.
Have a great day!
