Since Nick is back, fitness is back in our every day lives. I wouldn't say Nick "loves" fitness, but it's a requirement for the Air Force, so he remains fit and ready at all times. He at least runs 5 days a week, 3 miles each day. Well with Nick doing it, he's convinced me to tackle walking at the same time he's running. It's been working out well, the kids adjusted well to staying up later, but the cold is getting bitter! With having Raynaud's, being in the cold weather is like torture to me. Nick prefers to run outside on the track, either late at night or early in the morning. So the temperatures are pretty cold. We've hit the track all but twice since he's been back, but last night I told him my hands can't handle the cold! The kids and I were only able to handle 15 minutes! That's sad and not really a "workout". It's torture.
This morning, we had a bed visitor at 4:45, Xander woke up screaming so I brought him to our bed. With him being up early, he was able to go back to sleep for about another hour, that was nice. Nick gave Sterling her morning bottle after his shower, but I still couldn't get back to sleep, so I went to the living room and drank some coffee he made for me. At 730, I decided I was going to the gym! What? Me? The gym?!?! Getting brave here! At 845 the kids and I loaded up and went off to the gym. We got home at 10, they had snacks and a drink, then took naps. I grabbed a shower. I felt great doing the treadmill! And being done so early in the morning! I was so proud of myself that I sent Nick an "i'm proud of myself" email, but still haven't received a reply. He must be busy today. I wanted to hear his reply and pray that he was proud too.
What got me here? Well, it's like an epiphany happened...ha! Nick made a comment the other day that we should get more pictures of me with the kids because they are growing so fast and I'm the one always behind the camera. The reason I'm behind...well it's simple. I HATE my body. And pictures don't lie, so I stay out of them. In order to not hate my body, I have to take charge of it and take time for myself to be happy. I need to lose 20-30 pounds to be really happy and comfortable in my own skin. That's sad. I should be happy no matter how I look. Yesterday I decided to wear makeup for the first time in over a year. Big change right there! Now, I'm not going to wear it every day, but I'm going to try to put it on if we go out. Even if it's only to the grocery store. It makes me feel pretty. If I feel pretty, I want to work out because working out makes me feel strong and feeling strong will make me feel beautiful in the end.
Having 2 small kids is hard to find "me" time, but it's important for my health. They have a kids gym at 3 gyms in our area, so there's no excuse. The last time we went to the gym, Xander screamed his head off for the 45 minutes we were there. Now that he's older, he'll be fine. He has to, it's that simple. I'm going to let him make a fuss, if that's what he chooses to do, because getting healthy and fit is important.
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