Sad tonight

Tonight was rather emotional for me.  As I was feeding and rocking Xander to sleep, I thought of my cousin and began sobbing.  I'm so heartbroken for her loss.  She's tried so long to bring a bundle of joy into their lives and for their son to be taken from them so abruptly, is sad!  I know all to well how hard it is to lose a child.  I didn't carry a baby to full-term like her, but I did lose our baby at 10 weeks.  I can't imagine or begin to know how it feels to carry a baby to term and lose him.  It was hard at 10 weeks.  Going through the pregnancy, feeling the baby kick, turn, move all around, probably even hiccup, would all be so real.  Having daily conversations multiple times a day with your unborn baby.  This would make it all that much harder to have to say goodbye.  I like how she said it wasn't a goodbye, it was a farewell until later.  Her son has our great-grandparents watching over him, as well as his daddies mom.  They are spoiling him with lots of love and telling so many stories of his parents.  Baby boy...you will be missed, but loved so very much, look after your mommy and daddy and let them know you are happy being with your grandparents.
Being in the military, I went 8 years without shedding tears...I became a strong person.  Now I am just heartbroken for my cousin and her husband and have been shedding tears for 2 hours now.
They are doing a private funeral service, which I think is best because it will give them all the time they need with just their son.  Not having to worry about putting on a "happy" face for the crowd of people.  My cousin is a strong person, but she needs this time to grieve and mourn the loss of her baby boy. 
Continued prayers for healing and strength for my cousin and her husband as they get through this devastating loss.

Have a great day!